Some days are harder than others,
these days I question what I’m doing wrong.
It’s hard to be me
always looked at as the “little sister”
I”m grown! but no one seems to acknowledge my legal age,
just my body’s age you know young in the face.
It’s hard this whole single thing,
going out to keep a smile on my face.
doing things for me.
Money spent for a moment of emotional joy.
Then it wears off once I finish the drink,
or the coffee, or the cake,
whatever i try to use to replace the sting.
Like WTH is wrong with me?!!!??
I keep getting looked over
or “You make a great friend”
but that’s it. the end.
same story, another day,
over a year.
Only action is some random old men with no goals,
just hidden agendas,
I see it in their eyes,
they stare right through me
thinking how they can break me down,
and enter me.
Sometimes I cry, and the little bit of hope in my heart dies.
“Sigh”
I disappear, fade away in a room,
surrounded by women with long straight hair,
high heels, and made up faces.
I fade into the background, watch the way men look at them,
…me..never seen so I don’t speak just observed those around me.
Maybe my FRO is intimidating cause it holds my head up high.
or maybe its the blessings over my 22 year old life;
own place,
college graduate,
full time employee.
I refuse to be less than the best of me I can be.
one day you’ll find me?
Shininlight's Blog 